Wilber and Samantha
By Geoffrey C Porter

Wilber ordered up his third Jack&Coke when she walked into the bar. Long legs, bottle red hair, light blue eyeshadow with rosy cheeks. She stepped up to the bar and asked for red wine. Wilber caught her eyes with his and showed off his pearly whites. She nodded this way with her head, and Wilber's inner 16-year-old cried out in joy.
He picked up his drink and sat next to her. "You looked like you could use some company."
She shrugged. "No, I just had this crick in my neck. You can go now."
He took a sip from his drink. "This barstool is exponentially more comfortable than the one I was sitting on before. It's like there were rocks in the cushion."
"They put rocks in every third one. You've got to be careful."
He stared into her face. The light blue shadow was the perfect shade to bring out the green in her eyes. His view drifted down to her firm breasts and thin waist.
She wore a white button up shirt and blue slacks. She sniped, "Watch it!"
"I was watching it. I didn't touch, did I?"
She turned back to her wine and took a sip.
He slammed down the rest of his Jack&Coke and ordered up another. He reached out with his fingertips and brushed up against the back of her hand. "I'm Wilber."
She laughed. "You're joking."
"What's your name?"
"Samantha."
Wilber ran one fingertip along the lip of his fresh glass. "Are you here alone? Are you meeting someone?"
Samantha held up her left hand to show off a wedding ring.
Wilber sighed.
She reached out and patted his hand. "He's dead though."
"Where did you hide the body?"
Samantha closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth. "He's too heavy, and I can't find a saw. He's splayed out on the floor of my kitchen."
Wilber reached his hand down to her thigh and rubbed. "Which would be best? A hack saw or more of a wood saw?"
She finished her wine. "We'll need both. Wood saw for the fleshy parts, and hack saw for the bone. Maybe the two of us could move him, but I don't know. He weighs 350 lbs."
Wilber reached out and pulled her in close. She closed her eyes and purred.
"This is the last time?" He asked.
"Promise."
Wilber drank down the last of his tasty alcoholic beverage and stood up. He set two twenties down on the counter. "Let's go."
She pushed herself away from the bar. "We'll take two cars. Do you remember the way?"
Wilber nodded. They went to their separate cars. She drove fast, and he took the scenic route, following the beach road. He turned down a dirt road and pulled up to the back of the house. She was waiting in the sun room with the lights on.
He grabbed her and squeezed her tight. "First, we do it."
She wrestled free of his grip. "No, not until after."
He shrugged, and she stepped into the kitchen.
Wilber looked around for a few moments and then followed into the kitchen. Laying in the center of the tile floor was a rather large fat man in his underwear with a butcher knife protruding from his chest.
"What was he worth?" Wilber asked.
"Let's see if we can move him."
"There's no way we're moving that whale. We've got to slice and dice. What was he worth?"
Samantha kicked the dead fat man. "Highly diversified assets. I don't have a tally. It's going to take months to find and consolidate everything."
Wilber stared at the dead body, wondering if Samantha needed to stab him that many times.
Samantha reached out and gently slapped him across the cheek. "You didn't bring the saws in with you."
"Shucks!" He left and soon returned with two saws. They worked as a perfect pair, one using the wood saw to cut flesh out of the way down to the bone, then the other one used the hack saw to cut through bone. The floor was a mess when they finished, but they had five parts.
They hauled the parts out back to Wilber's pickup truck. Driving across sand dunes into wasteland, they pulled up to a gulley and unloaded everything. Wilber grabbed Samantha and lifted her skirt up. Their bodies twisted under the moonlit sky amongst the dunes for a solid hour.
They were driving back to the house when Wilber said, "You owe me big time for this one. I want to see more of you."
Samantha reached out and petted his leg. "You're not my type, Wilber. I don't want a relationship."
Wilber held up three fingers. "Three times, I've helped you dispose of bodies. We have sex for one night, and then I don't see you for months. It's not right. You owe me."
"Sugga, I seem to recall helping you with two bodies. I don't think I owe you much. Plus, we had sex those times, too."
Wilber pulled the truck to a stop by the back door. "I want more. Plus, both of those bodies, the police found. They have evidence. It's been all over the national news."
"I thought those were good hiding places. We could have brought them to my property, but you were like, 'oh no, then I'll get blamed for these too…'"
Wilber reached out and fondled her breast and started kissing her on the neck. "I want to be with you all the time."
"Sooner or later, we'll get sick of each other. My men never last. Your women never last. We're a bad matchup."
"Maybe you're right."